Jack's Blog

I met you for the first time in first grade. I was in the “cool kids” group and you wanted to be in it, but they didn’t want you in it so we were assholes.

Around third grade I saw you again riding your bike in circles and I hid next to my friends house cause I was scared you’d recognize me and be mad at me for being a douche in first grade. From there we became best friends for a very long time.

We did a lot of crazy shit, and we spent a lot of time together. You were my best friend. If there was anything I wanted to do, I wanted you to be doing it with me. If we were ever to star in a movie you would’ve been my wacky crazy co-star and we would’ve made like 10 bucks cause our lives were gay as fuck and all we did was play with toys and look at tits.

We had a falling out cause you felt I was using you for your game systems cause I didn’t have any and I was just a dick about it.

Luckily we became friends again. Unfortunately we didn’t hang out much.

You moved all the way to like the other side of town, and neither of our parents wanted to drive out there. We saw each other rarely.

High school started and then we didn’t even talk really.

Freshman year passed.

Sophomore year passed.

Junior started and you invited me to a party. It was the most awkward, yet coolest party I’ve been to. I was so insanely out of place, but your friends were cool and I was with my best friend again. This time we were mature, we were adults, we were drunk as fuck. I still remember being almost too drunk and watching you play quarters with some hot chick at your table.

We didn’t talk much after this again.

I saw you, here and there at the starbucks you worked at but we didn’t really talk. We were different people. But anytime we talked we were still best friends. 

I don’t remember when it was, but you had randomly showed up at my house. It was the most awesome surprise, and I remember us going to Jack in the Box and just talking. You were the same person, except you got chubbier and into MMA. I think this is how you invited me to the party on Labor Day weekend of Junior year.

I’ll also never forget the time we were hanging out in the neighborhood we went trick or treating in one year and we played tackle football with some kids younger than us. It was my first time playing tackle. A kid half my size made me fly. You couldn’t stop laughing and neither could I.

Then one day I get a text from you, telling me you had a rare kind of cancer that only about 500 people in the world had. You made it seem like it wasn’t that big of a deal, so I wasn’t that worried. 

We saw each other off and on from this, but I was a shitty person. The person I know longer than anyone but family has cancer, and I never text him, call him, or ask to hang out with him? What kind of fucked up shit is that?

We talk maybe 20 times in four years and when you see me hanging out with my friends in the sante fe you fuck with me by grabbing my ass and pretending to be a girl hitting on me. It was like we’d seen each other every day. This was the first time I saw you after you got cancer and went through surgery. You walked with a cane.

Your 19th birthday was coming up, and you told me you were going to have a party and get a hotel room and you’d let me know what’s up, but I never got a text. For some reason I didn’t think to text you and see why.

I saw you, at Pirates of the Carribean: On Stranger Tides’ midnight realease. You were sitting about seven seats away from me. I didn’t say hi. I don’t know why, I have no excuse. This was the last I’d ever see you again. And the thing that I will never stop regretting for the end of my life.

My mom told me she had spoken to your grandma and you weren’t doing very well, that I should add you on facebook and we should talk. I found you on facebook, I added you. But we never talked. You are my best friend, you had cancer, and we never talked. There is something wrong with me, something I vowed to change after my grandpa passed. I fucked that up.

Last night I saw a weird picture tag of you sleeping with a bottle of alcohol in your hands. I looked at the pictures. One of the captions read something about partying with you again up in heaven and my heart dropped.

I went to his facebook page and saw tons of people writing on his wall saying he will forever be missed and to rest in piece. 

I was in shock.

My best friend Roger Salcedo passed away on August 20th. I will forever miss you. You will always be in my heart, and in my mind. And what ever your heaven may be, I hope you can forgive me for not being the friend I once was towards you.

On top of the regrets, I’m having an internal battle. My great grandma died last year, and my grandpa the year before that. I’ve shed a few tears for them, but I cried at least three times writing this.I just feel like I did/am doing something wrong towards them because this is upsetting me so much more. I don’t know what to do. Or what to say. All I can think about is him. The things we did together. Trying to remember all memories we had together. I slept about three hours last night. 11-1 was sleep. 1-5 was me trying to sleep but everytime I closed my eyes all I could think about was him, or thinking about trying not to think about him. and then 5ish-7:40 was sleep. So maybe I got a little more than three. but still, the majority of my night was spent thinking.

I miss you Roger, and I’m so very, very sorry I wasn’t there. 

just spent the last about 2 hours arguing with my friends. The argument was about Marijuana of course.

My main argument was that as a group of friends, I’m the only one who’s never done it. They do it every time we hang out. I’m already the isolation here. When they get high, some of them get annoying, most of them argue with me, and ALL of them won’t listen to a single word I have to say simply because I chose not to smoke weed. 

So when I tell them that I feel isolated and disrespected that they can’t even compromise and give the weed a break for one night, just to chill with me. What do you think their answer was?

Actually do it? Be good friends and chill with me sober one night rather than get blazed off their asses? Sounds like a good choice. But no, they did not!

If you answer was “tell me that I need to chose to feel differently rather than the way I do now.” You guessed correct! They wouldn’t budge at all. Not only wouldn’t they budge, but they kept bringing up the same fucking argument to my points.

“I feel isolated, and alone because all you guys do is get high and everything becomes more fun for you and the stupid little things that you guys do — which for you feels like five minutes, but for me feels like an hour — are just twice as boring. Not only that, but I’ve been putting up with this shit since September 22nd 09.”

Their response? “I used to hang out with a bunch of E-tards and I felt just fine. I chose not to feel isolated and disrespected.”

Well, good for you. I’m not you, human beings feel, and experience different emotions in different situations. You might see a bunny die and cry, yet another person could see it and get joy from it. We’re all different. I’ve been putting up with this shit for almost two years now, all I’m asking is that instead of the 7/7 times that you guys smoke while hanging out with me, you knock one of, make it 6/7 and we actually enjoy others company.

“But Jack, you’ve got to realize that weed is an important thing in my life, It’s a high value and I enjoy doing it every weekend. You just need to chose not to feel isolated and I hung out with E-tards and I was sober and I didn’t feel isolated.” -mind you this isn’t word for word. Just paraphrased.

AS you can see that went in a circle. It just kept repeated. My friend told me four or five times, the same fucking story about him hanging out with a bunch of high off their ass E-tards and how he chose not to feel isolated. It was annoying.

My other friend just told me to try and do different things, basically trying to give me advice on how to adjust to what I’ve been adjusted to for the past near two years.

“You guys are high off your asses, playing video games, laughing your asses off at the stupidest shit and every so often you stare at the wall like the most beautiful pare of tits popped out. On top of that, every time we try to have a conversation we argue, it revolves around weed or some other topic I’m not fond of, you make absolutely no sense, disregard everything I have to say because I’ve sinned in your way of living and never tried weed, or you talk to much and get annoying.” -I wish I could have said this much, this clearly but theirs bits and pieces I didn’t really add in at this specific moment in the argument, but I”m pretty sure I said most if not all points mentioned.-

“Well you know you COULD just change the conversation.”

Have you ever tried to sway a conversation when people are high? Then you should know it’s not hard at all. But no matter I try and do it goes back to some sort of argument, or some sort of weed related comment that I’m just too “Ignorant” to understand. He then went on to pretend like I was speaking like I was from Charlie brown and repeat his “advice” -.-

I feel like my friends have more respect for my mom and brother, simply because they smoke weed. And that’s just sad when you’re 18-20 year old friends would rather talk and get high with your mom(mid 50’s) than hang out with you sober. Fuck. You. All.

I’m going to start a list of games that I will constantly update with each game I buy. I will also give a before and after review of all the games I get. :D I’ll post the list up later.

Don’t you just love when Women prove to be more entertaining than attractive? xD

LOLOLOL.

You know how there’s a style, or clique for people? Like Scene, goth, metalhead, shit like that?

Well a lot of these kids don’t like to be classified as anything, and I get that you wanna be original, not part of a group.

But when you go and do something that’s damn near a trademark of a clique you’re trying not to be, and still think you don’t fit in with them… Well then… Yew stoopidz.. xDD

Ahh

/end rant.

Well I just watched Ip Man. Pretty fucking badass. Now I”m watching some stupid fucking dubbed over Japanese movie. I mean really? Why in gods name are we still doing Godzilla bullshit? Just leave the god damn subtitles on instead of that stupid motherfucking voice over when their lips keep movie after you finish speaking -.- I thought this was 2011… Not whenever the fuck those old ass Godzilla movie’s were.

Oh well. Good night :D

The will to troll is strong within me…

Why must you say things that just make me want to bash you in the face with a pile of hot steaming troll?

Tonight hasn’t been making me feel very special. Really wish I had a girl to cuddle with while watching all these movies and smoking hookah. /: Someone to laugh with. someone to smile for. Just someone to be happy with.

Blaaaaaaaah

I’ve noticed that when people start to do a lot of things that annoy me, I just want to remove them from my life xD It’s over dramatic, but when I scroll through my tumblr, facebook, or twitter, and see these people with over annoying posts I just want to delete them and never talk to them again… and it’s taking a considerable amount of will power to prevent myself from actually doing it.